my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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