You're completely useless in the revolution.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
