She's JV to your varsity
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
