I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thank you for not boning my boss.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
