I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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