I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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