Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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