The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize