so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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