why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
