whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
