I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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