Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
