yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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