just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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