just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
