And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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