My first STD was from a foam party
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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