You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
