This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
