I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
