So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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