Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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