NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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