Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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