I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
