i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
