Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
where are my eyebrows?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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