tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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