Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
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shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
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She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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