we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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