I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
