Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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