well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize