true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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