Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
