Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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