oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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