Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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