Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
