"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
