I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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