Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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