I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
