lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's official drugs can't kill me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
