You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
