I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
