He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
