She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
