I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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