But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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