i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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