I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Farmville is her only friend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Randomize
