his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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