I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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