Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize