Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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