i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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