i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
