My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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