i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
